新航道

  上海新航道托福培训小编特别整理了托福考试的详情，这次给大家带来了写的关于2021年10月16日托福独立写作范文及解析。希望帮助考生对照文本更好的研究真题，充分备考，争取理想成绩，实现留学梦想。

  10月16日托福独立写作真题题目及范文

  Sometimes you are required to meet with another person to provide feedback about that person's work(for example,when you must give your opinions about a classmate's work on an assignment or your thoughts about a coworker's contribution to a project).When you have both positive and negative feedback to give about a person's work, do you believe it is more effective to give the positive comments first or the negative comments first? Why?

  范文：

  It is common today for classmates and colleagues to judge on each other's performance. Some people prefer to give negative feedback first just to prevent others from being too proud. However, from where I stand, in terms of the effect that the feedback exerts and the relationship with others. positive comments should come first before negative ones.

  本段解析

  开头段先给出题目背景.紧接着点明反方观点并说明一个理由。最后，转折并给出本文的选择。

  judge On v.根据..评判

  from where l stand 我认为

  in terms of 考虑到…

  exert effect v.施加影响

  Firstly, negative feedback will be better accepted if positive feedback is presented frst. Typically, people are in defense of their work.In face of sudden criticism, most of them may quickly think of ways to fight back with a strong will to show that their work has rmrtand that the criticism issiase. But positive comments may serve as a buffer; after being praised, people will be fully prepared to know more about what can be improved in their work. When I led a team to do biology experiments in high school, there was a boy who always pointed out my fault first.Every time when he blamed me for an imperfect plan without clear steps for every experiment, I explained that it was impossible to foresee every problem we might bumpinto and that he held prejudice. So, none of his suggestions was accepted, although he would list some of the advantages of my plan later.

  本段解析

  本段说明先进行正面反馈的第一个好处。论证中先给出铺垫。紧接着以反证作为论证手段∶反证结束之后.再正向点题。例证以个人亲身经历为主。

  in defense of 保护

  in face of 面对

  merit n.优点

  biased adj. 有偏见的

  bufern.缓冲

  bump into V.遇到

  Secondly, presenting positive comments first is conducive to our interpersonal relationship. In fact, most people, whether their performance is good or not, have poured efforts into the assignment and tasks. Giving positive feedback before we point out mistakes and weaknesses is an indicator of our appreciation for others'hard work. Such appreciation renders their endeavor worthwhile,driving them to show gratitude for us, trust us and build up emotional ties with us. I harvested friendship with Anne just because I was the one who always gave applause for every single strength in her assignment-her well-articulated plan, her elaborate design and the clear layout. While I would point out the errors in the assignment later,she believed that I,compared wlth others who directy criticized her, was considerate and empathetic.

  本段解析∶

  本段给出先进行正面反馈的第二个好处。论证依然以铺垫开始，后期扣题说明如果我们先给出正面反馈会有什么样的效果。例证依然是个人事例。

  conducive adj.有益的

  pour efforts into 在..投入努力

  render V.使得

  endeavor n.努力

  gratitude n.感激

  emotional ties n.感情纽带

  aplause n.喝彩

  well-articulated adj. 闸述清楚的

  empathetic adj.有同理心的

  Some may argue that criticism and suggestions will not be impressive if they come too late.The receivers of the feedback will abandon themselves in the positive comments, feeling good about themselves, rather than place emphasis on what they have not done right or well. But in fact, whether others will attach imporiance to our comments on the demerits of their work depends on whether they truly crave improvement.If they are eager to correct all the mistakes and eliminate all the problems, they will pay close attention to every word we say about their work.

  本段解析

  本段是让步段，重点说明己方观点可能会有的问题。稍加解释后进行反驳，说明抨击己方观点的理由是不成立的。

  abandon oneself in v.沉浸于

  place emphasis on v.重视

  attach importance to v.重视

  demerit n.缺点

  crave v.渴望

  eliminate v.消除

  With the aforementioned points made,it can be drawn that positive feedback should be given before negative comments.

  本段解析∶

  aforementioned adj.上述的

请加COCO老师（微信号：shnc_2018）

百人留学备考群，名师答疑，助教监督，分享最新资讯，领取独家资料。扫码免费加入